By Mel McConaghy
Finally clearing security, we boarded the aircraft and flew out of Vancouver on our way to Los Angeles.
I noticed that instead of a pleasant and pretty stewardess who smiled a lot, we had a very large and less than attractive steward, who reminded me of the wrestlers I used to watch on television.
By this time I was getting a little peckish, so I mustered up enough courage to ask ‘Moose’ about when they would be serving breakfast. Towering over me, he gave me a cold look and snarled, We don’t serve meals on this flight, but I am selling sandwiches and can give you a free cup of coffee,
Later on in the flight, he came around selling sandwiches and stuff from a trolley. I was still cowering in my seat from the cold stare and previous verbal onslaught, so I just asked for a coffee and one of the sandwiches. He handed me a cellulose bun with a couple of slivers of brown latex in it, and a cup of some type of brownish acidic fluid. He then asked for $4.00, or some ridiculous price for the so-called sandwiches, which appeared to be made from two sawdust frisbees and a short stack of sliced car tires. I was about to protest, and would have, had it not been for the icy glare he gave me. The ‘free coffee’ tasted like battery acid pulled from a wreck earlier that morning, and probably was. But, that was actually a good thing, or that sandwich might still be hanging around somewhere in my digestive tract.
I found myself thinking, “What ever happened to all those pretty, pleasant stewardesses that use to serve us with their ‘coffee, tea or me’ looks? Is this something else that we need to blame terrorists for, or is it just due to equal opportunity laws?” When I started complaining about the sandwich to Barb, she said, “Well, they can’t be that bad. No one else is complaining.” As I attempted to choke down my four bucks worth of cardboard and latex, I heard a commotion a few seats behind us. I turned around to see an old gentleman, shaking what looked to be a sandwich, at the steward, over the shoulder of a pretty little stewardess who was trying to calm him down, as the old guy shouted something about breaking his new false teeth on it.
I turned to Barbara, and smugly said, “See, I’m not the only one who was not impressed with those sandwiches.” Things calmed down after that, and the rest of the flight to LA was uneventful. I could not help but notice though, that after nearly being assaulted by the irate senior citizen, the steward was not nearly as intimidating for the rest of the trip. Instead, he was more like a big old tire that someone had let all the air out of.
Barb And Mel’s Wondrous Adventure Part 1
Barb And Mel’s Wondrous Adventure Part 2
Barb And Mel’s Wondrous Adventure Part 3
Barb And Mel’s Wondrous Adventure Part 4
Barb And Mel’s Wondrous Adventure Part 5
Barb And Mel’s Wondrous Adventure Part 6
My Life Through a Broken Windshield by Mel McConaghy
Mel McConaghy is a retired trucker and author from Prince George, British Columbia. Mel’s tales are his views of life “through a broken windshield”. They are entertaining and humorous in a folksy style.
Visit Mel’s website at www.melmcconaghy.com