By Ron Murdock
Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth. – Marcus Aurelis
Speaking the truth is a tough act to do. It means really being in touch with yourself to prevent caving into consensus reality, or participating in group think. One can listen to, or read, different viewpoints, but it takes courage to stick to one’s guns and form their own opinions. I learned a few years ago that it is more important to be honest rather than having to be right all the time. Being a people pleaser isn’t as admirable as one might think, but could be based more on fear of not fitting in with the crowd.
Instead, most of us are trained to keep our mouths in park, when putting it into drive is a better option at times. We’ve been conditioned by various institutions to be ‘good’ boys and girls. Just before Christmas 2014 I spoke with a woman I had seen around the town I lived in at the time. I wanted to see if she was interested in being a guest on my radio show that I had at the time. I told her that political correctness was discouraged as it’s mostly bland information. Her reply was that it was important to be nice to people, which is true, but my reply was that getting things out in the open is better, as it clears the air. I told her people needed to learn how to think as opposed to being told what to think. She never said a word back, but distinctly winced upon hearing this.
Not speaking the truth has a negative impact on one’s overall health. This is why anxiety, depression and similar ailments are so predominant among the population. Holding back the truth blocks the natural flow of energy that creates a lot of imbalances on our planet. Being a ‘nice’ person really hasn’t made the world a better place to live in. The internal public relations department in all of us alters a lot of the information we present to others. We’re so good at conning ourselves into a state of double think, the ability to believe at least two contradictory ideas at the same time. Would it be better to make it clear where you stand on a subject and not worry about what others think of you? When being straight forward one knows who their friends or foes are.
Holding back from telling the truth isn’t considerate of others, it’s quite selfish actually. I’d rather use up front honesty, rather than B.S. people by telling them what they want to hear. I’d rather be alone as opposed to being in a dull compromised relationship, especially if romance is involved. Life is meant to be interesting, not tedious. The choice is yours to make on which way you want to go. The bottom line here is that fear keeps one from making smart intelligent choices. Express the truth as you see it, instead of stating half-truths or something recited from a script. Even telling a little white lie erodes trust between people.
Be yourself rather than somebody others want or expect you to be. Every relationship goes through a honey moon phase, but once the glow wears off difficulties will need to be dealt with. Troubles start if things aren’t looked at in the cold white of dawn. Change is good, so it’s a wise plan to take a good look at yourself every so often. This way you won’t get crusted over or stuck in a comfortable rut.
When speaking the truth to someone, don’t do it in a manner that humiliates them or destroys their self-confidence. But sugar coating the situation won’t help either, or ignoring it, as the problem(s) won’t go away on their own but will continue to grow in the dark.
One has to learn to listen to themselves, then carefully pick the words that need to be said effectively. You can fool others; trick your mind into believing anything, but kidding your body is impossible. When your body senses something wrong, it will tell you by the tightening of the shoulders, neck, stomach, legs or ailments like insomnia.
When the need to come clear with someone happens, take the time to calm your mind and be open to all possibilities that may occur. If nothing comes to mind right away it will come at some point in the future. Being honest doesn’t mean being rude, insensitive or manipulative. It means clearing the air for the best of all concerned. Forgive, release and forget is the ultimate way to go.