Here are a few random jokes, questions and quotes to make you smile:
» Politicians refuse to listen to their conscience. They don’t want to follow advice from a total stranger.
» Will’s advice for wooing women… When ya want your man to ‘play’ with ya, wear yerself one of them thar full length black nightgowns, with lots of buttons sewed all over it. It’ll be tight and annoying, but, yer going look just like his remote control.
» Bronco Nagurski, one of the strongest running backs in all of football history, was accidentally discovered in the 1920s. A professional football scout spotted a large boy plowing a field on his family’s farm. The scout stopped and waved him over. He asked the lad for directions to another farm, where he’d been told about a strong kid who might play football. To give the scout directions, Bronco lifted up the plow and used it like a conductor’s wand to point down the road. The scout’s jaw dropped, and he never went any further. He signed the boy who could point with a plow.
» Warning label on a cardboard automotive windshield sun shade: Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield in Place.
» Those obsessed with health are not healthy. The first requisite of good health is a certain calculated carelessness about oneself.
» The four-year-old son of a nurse was called indoors to eat. Before he had time to sit down, his mother reminded him to wash his hands so that germs would not make him sick. Shuffling on his way to the bathroom, he mumbled, “Jesus and germs. Jesus and germs. That’s all I ever hear about, and I ain’t never seen either one of them.”
» GREETING CARDS: For when you care enough to send the very best, but, not enough to actually write something yourself.
» One wintry evening, US General, Ulysses S. Grant, entered a hotel in Galena, Illinois. Sitting by the fire was a group of lawyers, one of whom glanced up at the weathered Grant. “Here’s a stranger, gentlemen,” he remarked, “and by the looks of him, he’s traveled through hell itself to get here.” “That’s right,” Grant cheerfully replied. “And, good sir, how did you find things down there?” asked the lawyer. “It’s just like here,” Grant declared, “lawyers all closest to the fire.”