Random jokes, questions and quotes to twist and entertain your mind part 13… Shocking, thought provoking, and really funny stuff.
» Revenue Canada said recently that, while a record number of Canadians paid their taxes online this year, the system still had a few bugs. Most have since been resolved, however they still haven’t figured out a way to get the shirt off our backs through modems yet.
» Definition Of An Elephant: A mouse built to government specifications.
» I was glued to the TV. The score was tied, and it was in the last five minutes of the hockey game. Crazy Lady walked by and wondered why the crowd was so excited. “It’s a perfect game,” I told her. Do you know what that is?” “Yeah,” she said, “one that’s over.”
» Ten percent of all accidents on the road are caused by people who have been drinking. That means that ninety percent of accidents are due to people who are stone-cold sober. Isn’t this a really scary thought?
» There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed a desire to become a “great” writer. When asked to define “great”, he said, “I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level. Stuff that will make them scream, cry, wail, and howl in pain, desperation and anger!” He now works for Microsoft writing error messages…
» Canada believes in education: The average professor earns more money in a year than a professional hockey player earns in a whole week.
» There has never been an individual born who has been universally liked, or admired 100% of the time.
» “It is horrifying that we have to fight our own government to save the environment.” ~ Ansel Adams ~ 1902 – 1984
» In his later years, artist Pablo Picasso was not allowed to roam art galleries unattended, for he had previously been discovered in one of them, busily in the act of ‘improving’ one of his old masterpieces.