» Which is worse, ignorance or apathy? Who knows? Who cares?
» Adam returned home late one night after drinking way too much with a dodo and a unicorn. Eve, who felt abandoned and was lonely, got angry and yelled at him, “You are seeing another woman!” Adam responded, “Don’t be silly, Eve, you are the only woman on earth.” Staggering off, he found a comfortable spot and went to sleep. Later that night Adam woke up, feeling a strange tickling on his chest, and saw it was Eve. “What the heck are you doing?” he asked her. She whispered, “Shhhhh…I’m counting your ribs.”
» People who say “Good Morning” should be forced to prove it.
» Public schools: A place where parents place children in the care of teachers who are afraid of principals, who are afraid of the school board, who are afraid of parents, who are afraid of the children, who are afraid of nobody.
» The tongue has no bones, but it is strong enough to break hearts.
» I reckon that politicians are a lot like slinkies … they’re not really good for anything, but by golly, they can sure bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.
» You can have anything that you want to have in this world,if you are willing to give up the belief that you can’t have it.
» Don’t marry someone you can live with. Marry someone you can’t live without.
» A couple had been married for 45 years, had raised a brood of 11 children, and were blessed with 22 grandchildren and 6 great-grandchildren. When asked the secret for staying together all that time, the wife smiled and said, “Many years ago we made a promise to each other: the first one to pack up and leave had to take all the kids.”
» Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, dark side and holds the universe together.