One Day In Hell, And One Day In Heaven
While leaving the legislature one day, a politician is tragically hit by a falling stone and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter.
“Welcome to heaven,” says St. Peter. “But, before you settle in, there is a problem. We seldom see political officials around here, so we’re not sure what to do with you.”
“No problem, let me in,” says the politician.
“Well, I’d like to,” Peter said, “but I have orders from higher up. What we’ll do is have you spend one day in hell, and one in heaven. Then you can choose where you want to spend eternity.”
“Really,” protested the politician, “I’ve already made up my mind. I want to be in heaven.”
Peter shook his head and said, “I’m sorry, but we have our rules.” And with that, escorts the politician to the elevator who then goes down, down, down to hell.
The Politician Visits Hell
The elevator finally stops, the doors open, and the politician finds himself in the middle of a gorgeous golf course. In the distance stands a multi-million dollar clubhouse, and standing in front of it, are all his friends and political peers. Everyone is in formal dress happily sipping champagne.
They all run to greet him, shake his hand and reminisce about the good times they had getting rich at the expense of the public. They take him to play a friendly game of golf on the most beautiful golf course the politician has ever see. Then after golf, they go for a delicious steak and lobster dinner, accompanied by caviar and more champagne. Also present is Satan, who turns out to be a very friendly gal who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time, that before he realizes it, it’s time to go. Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves goodbye as the elevator rises…
The Politician Visits Heaven
The elevator goes up and the doors opens to St. Peter waiting for him. Peter says, “Now it’s time to visit heaven.” So, twenty four hours pass with the politician joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing harps, praising God and singing. They also have a good time, and, before he realizes it, the twenty-four hours have gone by.
The Politician Makes A Choice
He reappears before St. Peter, who now asks, “Well, you’ve spent one day in hell, and another in heaven. Which do you choose for your eternity.”
The politician reflects for a minute, then answers: “Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I want to be in hell.” St. Peter escorts him to the elevator, and down he goes, down, down, down to hell.
When the elevator stops, and the doors open, the politician finds himself in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above. Satan comes over to him and puts her arm around the dazed and confused politician’s shoulder. “But, I don’t understand,” stammers the politician. “Yesterday there was a golf course and clubhouse, we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, danced and had a great time. Now there’s just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends are wretched and miserable. What happened?”
The devil looked at him, smiled, ran her finger seductively over his lips and said, “Oh, come on now, silly boy, you know better than anyone how it works. Yesterday we were campaigning… today you voted.”