The next time you get to thinking about getting naked and going to pet the neighbor’s guard dog, you may want to think back on this story. After consuming a ‘quantity’ of alcohol, a 64 year old Dominican Republic man woke to find himself in the hospital, well, at least most of him. Imagine his surprise when he woke up to find out that he was missing his ‘Capt’n Winkie’.
In an interview with TV station, Noticias Sin, Geraldo Ramos said that he woke up with no penis after blacking out drunk the night before, and didn’t have the slightest clue how it had happened (the missing penis). Ramos says that he simply cannot recall the point where he went from being very inebriated to getting rushed to the hospital for emergency surgery on his dismembered “member.”
Neighbors, however, were able to bring a little light onto the matter. They claim that a drunken, naked Ramos was attacked by a dog. They did not explain why Geraldo had approached the animal (or vice versa), or what his intentions were, but apparently the animal found his actions alarming enough to try to prevent Ramos from ever breeding again. Despite a grueling search, which involved a police officer, a cigarette, a bicycle, three kids and two disinterested grandmothers, the canine allegedly responsible has yet to be found.