Praylenol | Opiate for the Masses | By Nathan Witkin
When neuroscientists identified the exact neural pattern associated with religious fervor, we at pharmaceutical powerhouse, Jones, Swallow & Jones-Moore, thought “how can we...
The Northern Star | Funny Jokes | Great Stories
Funny jokes, great stories, weird news, bizarre behavior, humor and lots more!
Humor
Pronunciation Is Everything
I want to share a recent blessing with you all. Just two months ago, my husband Jim had a terrible bicycle wreck, and ended up with a crushed scrotum. The pain was...
16 Unexpected Places To Find Your Cat Stuck
"How did my cat get in there??" - Brought to you by Curiosity
Judge Sentences Man For Stealing Peaches | Wife Not Happy
Caught shoplifting, Harry was taken before a judge accused of theft. The judge asked him, “What did you steal?” “A small can of peaches,” Harry replied. The judge asked him why he had stolen the peaches, and Harry said, “I was hungry.” The judge asked, “And how many peaches were there in the can?” Harry answered, “Only six small pieces.” …
Walmart People | What Is Seen Cannot Be Unseen
How can you not love Walmart people? You just never know what you might see! Walmart people seem to be some of the most interesting people out there, and it is one of their favorite hangouts. It doesn’t matter what city, or even country that you are in, Walmart is like Barnum and Bailey’s retail emporium. Walmart people come in all …
How Times Have Changed | High School 1958 vs 2014
Scenario 1: Jonah goes quail hunting before school, and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck’s gun rack. 1958: Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jonah’s shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jonah. 2014: School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jonah hauled off to jail and never sees his …
FarmVille Cows Get Over $650,000 In Subsidies From Government
If you ever doubt the ingenious evil of man, here is a true story of how men used virtual cows to create real poop to deal with. Far, far away, in a foreign land called Romania, eight online “farmers” applied for, and received, government subsidies of about $150 per virtual cow, for almost two thousand cows. Three years later, the …
Too Much Emphasis Is Placed On Education
Too Much Emphasis Is Placed On Education, And Far Too Little Is Placed On Ability It is said that things happen for a reason, but millions of us are much more concerned about what we must learn to become, than we are about who and what we really are. We live in a world today where far too much emphasis …
Random Jokes | Questions | Quotes | Part 15
Random Jokes, Questions and Quotes Part 15 » When Marci was 4, her family lived in a neighborhood where the only children to play with were two rough boys. One day the three of them were out playing in the back yard. All of a sudden the two little boys came running in, crying. When asked what happened, one boy …
Honest Dictionary Tells It Like It Is
New dictionary terms from The Northern Star Dictionary. Fun Dictionary definitions. Boss: Someone who is early when you are late, and late when you are early. Cigarette: Tobacco rolled in paper, that when lit, has fire on one end and a fool on the other. Classics: Books that people praise, but do not read. Committee : Individuals who do nothing individually, that come together …
Translating Crazy Lady | What She Says | What She Means
Translating Crazy Lady ain’t always easy, but over time, this here is what I have learned...
I Will Pass On The Pantyhose | By Val Enders
I knew I’d have to resurrect the pantyhose for the evening, a thought I dreaded. Of course I’d have to shave my legs first, because the nylon tends to accentuate hairy legs...