You Know You Are A Nerd When… You kiss your girlfriend’s home page. A VRML (virtual walk through a park) is your idea of a good date. Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom. Your glasses have a web site burned in on them. Your dreams are in HTML. You call going to the bathroom as …
One Day In Hell, And One Day In Heaven While leaving the legislature one day, a politician is tragically hit by a falling stone and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter. “Welcome to heaven,” says St. Peter. “But, before you settle in, there is a problem. We seldom see political officials around here, so …
It all started with Billy Bob a pickin’ up his blushin’ bride in a limo when she got off werk at the 7-11. The groom’s daddy drove into Burger King to fetch up the reeception viddles. The bride gets herself dressed for the big to do. There was a sudden run of ceremonies for all the local churches, so we …
For those who have children, this is not funny… For those who are pregnant, this is a warning… For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control… A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep. If you spray hairspray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller …
Brittany had an earache and wanted a painkiller. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a childproof cap and she’d have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: “How does it know it’s me?” One day a guy was driving with his …
Gosh, you’re lucky. I sure wish men could experience the miracle of childbirth. Do you think the baby will come before the hockey game starts? I hope you’re ready. The photographer will be here in fifteen minutes. If you think this hurts, let me tell you about the time that I twisted my ankle. That was the kids on the …
A little boy, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell his mother that he’d dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So she fished it out and threw it in the garbage. The little lad stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to his parent’s en-suite and came out with her toothbrush. He held it up and said …
Left to their own devices, some men unleash their sense of fashion, and the result is visually painful. Here are 30 really great reasons why husbands must never be allowed to dress themselves:
One hot summer afternoon a large, powerfully built police officer pulls into a rancher’s yard, gets out, and asks a well weathered old gentleman near the barn who owns it. The old fella tells the officer that he does, and asks what he can do for him. The officer informs the aged rancher, “I’m here to inspect your property for …
For those who find themselves passing through Newark, Ohio, keep your hands on the wheel, and try not to stare when all of a sudden a massive woven basket weaves into view. No, it is not the home of the Easter Bunny. The Longaberger Company is an American manufacturer of handcrafted maple wood baskets, so it’s only fitting that their …
When neuroscientists identified the exact neural pattern associated with religious fervor, we at pharmaceutical powerhouse, Jones, Swallow & Jones-Moore, thought “how can we...
