Will’s Thoughts – Jerks Who Let Their Dogs Bark, And Bark, And Bark
I hate jerks who let their dog bark and bark: This week’s thoughts are for dog owners, specifically those irresponsible and inconsiderate jerk neighbors that let their dogs yip, whine and bark outside, for hour upon hour, day and night, upsetting people for blocks in every direction. Maybe to them, little FeeFee, or big ol’ Brutus, ain’t bothering anyone with their barking. Or maybe, they’re so devoid of intelligence that they think their dog’s barking is appreciated because it scares off criminals. Well, if you happen to be one of those hair-brained, mule/horse hybrids, you couldn’t possibly be more wrong. Let me put it into perspective, so you understand how your neighbors feel about you.
Imagine that you are sleeping soundly, when all of a sudden your drunken neighbors begin yelling loudly, with every second word, the f-word. You toss and turn, hoping that they’ll knock it off soon. But they don’t. They continue to scream loudly, hour after hour. Finally, you get angry and call the police, who usually respond and quiet things down fairly quickly. But when it’s a dog(s) barking, the police don’t come, so the noise continues unabated. Imagine that you work the graveyard shift, and fall into bed exhausted, just as the neighbor’s dog(s) begins barking…
The average alarm clock, designed to awaken us from even the deepest of slumbers, ranges between 65-80 decibels. Permanent damage to the human ear begins at 85 decibels. The average car or house stereo, at maximum volume, is around 100 decibels. Dog barks range in loudness from 65-108 decibels, depending on their size, and why they are barking. Medium to large dog barks average in excess of 100 decibels. Now can you start to see why your neighbors wish that lynching you was legal?
When your dog is outside barking, it’s the four-legged version of drunks screaming profanities and threats at the top of their lungs. Their noise carries for miles in every direction, destroying the peace and quiet of everyone within hearing range. Letting your dog bark excessively is also illegal according to most local noise bylaws. And, to your neighbors, that whining, yipping and barking your pet does to get your attention is like listening to a screaming baby, driving them to the edge of madness.
Dog owners, have some class and show consideration for other people. Monitor your dogs, and if they bark, whine or yip for more than five minutes, bring them back inside. Don’t make the problem even worse by cracking open the door and screaming at them to shut up. The last thing your neighbors want to hear is a deafening duet, starring you and your pet, violating the entire neighborhood’s peace and quiet.
For the people suffering from the action/inaction of irresponsible and inconsiderate pet owners (insufferable idiots with IQs several digits lower than their shoe size), call the City and report the noise violation. They will respond, and will warn and/or possibly fine the owner(s). If the noise issues continue, the animal(s) will be removed.
Will’s thoughts prove that everybody has opinions, but he has way more than he should. From dogs that won’t stop barking, to the antics of his spouse, ‘Crazy Lady’, Will’s Thoughts will make you smile.