I’ve often thought that it’s a good thing that we can’t read each others minds. If we could I’m sure I’d be labeled “certifiable”, “crazy”, or “a danger to myself and society”. “I was attending a meeting the other night and all my mind was interested in was yakking to itself. Sometimes I feel that I am just a third party observer between these nitwits who are supposed to be in charge my body.
Left Brain: “I wish we’d stayed home. I hate election meetings.”
Right Brain: “Oh for pity sake, just pay attention to what’s going on and don’t get us into any trouble.”
Stomach: (making loud gurgling noises): “That chili you wolfed down at supper isn’t exactly sitting right down here. I’m getting warning signals from you know who, so you better be ready to do the quick step outta here!”
Right Brain: “Just don’t panic and tell the colon to hang in there for the next hour or so.”
Stomach: “All right, but you’re gambling again. I’ll tell it to keep the trouser coughs down but I can’t promise anything. Can’t guarantee that they won’t stink either.”
Left Brain: “Did we remember to turn off the curling iron?”
Right Brain: (panic) “Let me think…. yes we did, no we didn’t… I can’t remember!”
Left Brain: “Too late now, the fire department has probably already got the fire out so we may as well relax.”
The meeting gets going but the rampant nonsensical conversation goes on in the grey matter. Me, I just sit there like I’m in my right mind when clearly I have no control over what’s going on up there.
Left Brain: “Remember… don’t volunteer for any more positions or committees. We can’t take on any more.”
Right Brain: “For once I agree. If we stick together on this we’ll be ok.”
Thoughts are whirling around my head like a front load washing machine….. Snippets from songs, my to do lists, agendas, all the way down to what‘s in the fridge. Nothing productive is living in the noggin’ tonight. I’m starting to feel like Sybil from the movies.
Right Brain: “Hold it! What’s going on?” Something’s happening!”
Left Brain: “I thought we were together on this… whose controlling the hand?”
I snap out of the mental chaos that is going on and finally come to my senses. My hand is waving in the air like one of those car lot helium balloons. Oh geez, what have I done! All eyes are on me and a smattering of applause starts up.
“Looks like we have a volunteer!” says the President.
(Groan.) You know, I just can’t leave me alone for a minute these days.
Author Val Enders resides in Spruce Grove, Alberta. She married her high school sweetheart, Richard, and they’ve been together for over 40 years. Val doesn’t consider herself a writer by profession, rather she writes more for her own enjoyment. An accomplished artist, Val’s a member of the Allied Arts Council of Spruce Grove. Visit Val’s “Journey Into Art” website at www.vals.webs.com