Mow, Mow, Mow Your Lawn…

Apparently putting sixty pounds of fertilizer on your lawn between the first arrival of grass and August, causes an extraordinary amount of grass to grow. Well, Duh!

Since our lawn was looking a little sad in May, compared to the neighbors, I decided that it would be a good idea to put some added nutrients into the grass to give it a little boost. Since we were fortunate, or unfortunate, depending on whether or not your basement got flooded, to have lots of rain, the fertilizer spreader was yanked out of the shed every time a dark cloud peeked over the horizon. Again, my ability to make a good decision was questioned by Hubby.

“Do you have any idea what you’re doing?” he had the nerve to ask.

“Of course I do.” I replied, “I’ve read tons of information from books to Internet forums, so I have a pretty good handle on how to get this dry brown area into a beautiful green nature belt.”

Naturally I didn’t bring up the incident of the “Miracle Grass purchase”, the grass seed that we bought from the TV commercial last year. That was the grass that would grow anywhere, even on cement. Maybe it comes up a regular green if you plant it on cement instead of your existing lawn, but on our front lawn it was a brilliant lime green patch in the shape of a square, three feet by four feet. Real eye catching.

“Just trust me,” I said, “I know what I’m doing. Fertilizing will knock out those thistles too.”

Our lawn was riddled with hidden thistles that scarred your feet if you had an inclination to run barefoot through the grass. Which I didn’t. I am a quick learner and had more sense than to try that again.

So, I started off on my crusade to acquire a greener, healthier, show stopping lawn. I laid in a supply of a good quality amendments (aka. bags of lawn fertilizer), oiled up the rusty push spreader, and waited for the first rains to appear. And appear they did!

The plant food was on, the rains had come (I got a little worried when I saw the animals running down the street two by two), and finally out came the sun. It was scorching during the day, humid like the jungles of Brazil. And that’s exactly what I had in the front yard… a jungle. And now it was time to mow.

Yikes!! Holy Schmoly! Those green blades were up to my armpits! Hmmm, maybe I should have thought this out a little bit better, but I’d have to be tortured before I’d admit that to Hubby.

“That’s quite the crop of grass you’ve got going there,” he said with a smirk. “Do you want me to mow it for you?”

“No! No!” I shot back, “This is my project, and I can take care of it.”

What was I thinking? Turn down help? I really must be losing it. That darn mouth is a heap of trouble… it should really consult the brain before yapping off like that.

I’m on my way to the shed to confront the whipper snipper and the lawn mower. I know exactly how I got myself into this mess, and I intend to get myself out, with my pride intact. Next week I’ll let you know how the mowing went. If I suddenly go “Missing”, you’ll know where to tell them to start looking right? Pray for me my friends!

Click here to see Part 2 of Mow, Mow, Mow Your Lawn

Val EndersAuthor Val Enders resides in Spruce Grove, Alberta. She married her high school sweetheart, Richard, and they’ve been together for over 40 years. Val doesn’t consider herself a writer by profession, rather she writes more for her own enjoyment. An accomplished artist, Val’s a member of the Allied Arts Council of Spruce Grove. Visit Val’s “Journey Into Art” website at

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