International Literary Icon Passes – Funeral Draws World’s Key Figures

exclamation pointBy W. Lewis

Last week the world quietly mourned the loss of yet another important figure in world history, Exclamation Point. It is suggested that he was of Latin origin, and that his name meant ‘joy’. His exact birth date is unknown, but he first appeared in printed documents around 1451, and was called the “sign of admiration or exclamation”, or the “note of admiration”, until the mid-17th century (admiration referred to its Latin sense of wonderment). Exclamation was a stoical, straight up kind of guy, who finished what was started. Those in the print world had a variety of nicknames for him, such as a screamer, gasper, or startler. Other names he was given over the centuries include dembanger, shout pole, bang, shriek and pling.

Exclamation always livened up any situation he attended, and certainly quickened the heartbeat of more than one pretty young lady, though he was often found in the company of (and was believed to be romantically tied to) one of the Quotation twins. Exclamation spent his entire life trying to make a point, and was always very emphatic about the issues that he followed. His services were sought and used by both the world’s most and least important, and soon tales that he was embroiled in made their ways to the very ends of the earth. While generally a happy man, it was not uncommon for him to express rage, grief, indignation and even intense desire. Regardless, Exclamation Point was willing to do whatever was necessary to get a job done, and when required, he was willing to roll up his sleeves and go full tilt.

Exclamation’s last public appearance coincided with the recent global economic crises, and it is said that he lived in relative obscurity until his demise. Though his life long companion declined the opportunity speak at his funeral, inside sources said it was only because Ende Quotation felt she could no longer hold things together. The attendees at Point’s funeral read like a who’s who of literary society, as whole families of Symbols, Letters, Apostrophes, Colons, Backslashes, Brackets, Numbers, Asterisks, Ampersands and Percents paid their last respects. The eulogy, which brought tears to the eyes of all there, was delivered by Exclamation’s dearest friend, Question Mark. Though there were rumors of foul play being the cause of Point’s death, according to his physician, Exclamation’s passing at the age of 575 was the result of decades of social apathy and moral atrophy, which created a world where people no longer really care, and are simply not surprised by anything anymore.

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