Baby, It’s Cold Inside!

I decided to make a nice dinner for the hubby, and went to the freezer to get a beef roast. I dread going into the freezer, and news flash, they don’t call it ‘freezer’ for nothing. Finding anything in there is an ordeal, and I hate the cold. But, I bit the bullet and headed downstairs.

The freezer and I have had our differences, especially since that side of beef arrived. Deep down, I think they secretly hate me and take advantage of my fear of the cold. I pulled open the door, and was hit in the face by an icy blast that I’m certain came from the birthplace of the Abominable Snowman. My glasses fogged up, and as they started to clear, I thought I saw the Himalayas just off to the right.

Usually I avoid going into the freezer, and beg the hubby to go instead. But, since he was gone, I had to go myself. I started to shiver, and my teeth chattered so loud I couldn’t hear a thing. That’s when I realized that the purchase of a bulk meat order may not have been a good idea. A wall of badly labelled, frosty brown packages stared back at me, throwing down the “come and find-me-if-you-can” gauntlet. That beef was piled up like wooden blocks in the “Jenga” game, and one false move would bring them down faster than the stock I bought last year. I reached in cautiously to test the threat level, and that’s when it happened! There was a slight shift from the opponent, and my fingers got jammed between two frozen blocks of mystery meat. Tears filled my eyes, and the pain was excruciating. I realized that my card dealing days were in serious jeopardy.

frozen meat

The roast cowered in the back, and I tried to coax it to “Come to Mama,” but suddenly and without warning, there was an unexpected counter move! I saw it coming, but was powerless to stop it! It was the mother of all defence moves! The beef had sent out the big guns in an attempt to save one of its own, and before I could yell “gobble gobble”, a ten pin bowling ball turkey rolled out and attacked my toe. It had joined the “dark side”. That was definitely a low blow tactic, but it did the job. I limped back upstairs, frostbitten and in a world of hurt. I needed to rest my foot for a while, to give my toe a chance to heal and my sprained fingers should mend in a few days, but tonight I have my revenge.. we’re having turkey!

We’re also having turkey this Thursday, Friday, Saturday…wait a minute!! That makes me wonder….. if I have to eat turkey all week, whose actually getting the revenge? ( Sigh) Who said turkeys were stupid?


Val EndersAuthor Val Enders resides in Spruce Grove, Alberta. She married her high school sweetheart, Richard, and they’ve been together for over 40 years. Val doesn’t consider herself a writer by profession, rather she writes more for her own enjoyment. An accomplished artist, Val’s a member of the Allied Arts Council of Spruce Grove. Visit Val’s “Journey Into Art” website at www.vals.webs.com

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